I won’t deny it, for I have been quite silent other the past few months. This of course, has been due to a multitude of reasons which indeed would take me all night to type up and to be quite frank, I want to sleep for a week right now, maybe even a month, or hibernate until 2016 is over.

It has been a rough year, I cannot even begin to deny that; not just for me has it been rough, but my family as well.

In March, my Grandma passed away due to lung cancer metastasis to the brain. It is thanks to my Grandma that I am where I am now, with a house, in university and with prospects of a good career and future, so it hurt a lot. One of the last things I spoke to her about when she was in the hospital was my dissertation and what I wanted to do as a personal project: Diabetes Awareness and Support for Type 1 Diabetics. Since that conversation with her, this is now my dissertation project and I know she will be proud of me for following it through to the end.

Recently, my family has had another knock… I found out yesterday that my Grandad has now passed away. It’s been about 3 months since my Grandma, so the blow is pretty harsh, albeit, I am getting by. I still don’t know why he has passed away but I have my own ideas. He was also a type 1 diabetic like myself, so with another in the family, it wasn’t such a lonely world.

I won’t deny this, I will be honest… but in all fairness, I guess I have not yet grieved for my Grandma: I have been so busy all of the time that I guess I just have not had the time to do so, or been able to. When I do, it will be bad, I guess. I still speak as if she is still here and I know I am doing it as well. And now, Grandad is gone too. Maybe I am being selfish, but alas, I cannot help but feel that I am way too young to not have any Grandparents left at all. It seems odd to me, I am only 27. Or is it because I feel guilty that I haven’t been able to go and see my Grandad for about 2 and a bit years or so now… I am really not sure. And I don’t think my brain is ready to even process anything at all yet.

One thing I am certain of, although I am not sure if it is even possible, is that if I am allowed to dedicate my dissertation to anyone, it would be to both my Grandma and my Grandad: Grandma because I told her I would do this and she was very proud of me and how far I have come along and the fact that it was one of the last things I spoke to her about; Grandad because he was like me with type 1 diabetes and I know he would support this fully to the end.

And even if I can’t dedicate the dissertation to them, I know deep down, that I will be. Because in all fairness, it is not just happening because of me, but because of them as well.

So, here is to the future, long may I continue to make both of you proud.